If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve likely seen a lot of bitching and moaning recently. If you’ve unfollowed me because of that, I totally understand (but you’re still a pretty shit person, so y’know, there’s that).
Basically, my shoulder is frozen – as in stuck. Fortunately, it’s not completely frozen at the moment, I have some small amount of movement in my arm and hand. Unfortunately, that means pain. So, so much pain. I’d estimate that I’m in pain approximately 90% of the time, ranging from dull aching and throbbing right through to excruciating pain that makes me scream and ugly cry.
On the plus side, a frozen shoulder is likely to fix itself. On the down side, we have no way of knowing when that will happen. It could be weeks, months… possibly over a year. But it will fix itself! It is not deadly, it is not degenerative, and it will get better, and for that I am grateful.
I am also grateful for the people around me. My parents and in-laws are a massive support with Munchkin, happy to take care of her whenever they can. My sister-in-law dropped off a big bag of button-up shirts since they’re the only kind I can get on over my arm while I can’t move it. Tomorrow, my best friend and her husband will drive up to our house with a dress for me to borrow for a wedding tomorrow afternoon, because there’s no way for me to get into the one I was going to wear. I have a fantastic doctor, and today he stuck a needle in my shoulder, which has dramatically reduced my level of pain (I used to hate needles, but after today I think I might change my tune). My workmates and manager and even heaps of customers have been helping me so much and swapping shifts to make it easier for me to work despite the pain. Today my amazing mum took me shopping and bought me a bra to go under the dress tomorrow and two pairs of slip-on shoes, to make it easier for me to dress myself.
But the biggest kudos has to go to the Captain and Munchkin, who have both taken this in their stride so incredibly well. Cap works full time and then cooks (I can’t chop, grate, peel or even open a fricking can), cleans (I can do some things one handed, but before the doctor’s visit this morning it was excruciating even using my right hand to do anything), takes care of Munchkin and the beasties when I can’t and listens to me moan and cry – all on not nearly enough sleep because I’ve had some really bad nights.
Munchkin – she is not quite 15 months old, and even though I know it’s so hard on her that all of a sudden I can’t pick her up or carry her the way I used to, she has been so great. She’s getting really good at not grabbing or touching my left arm, and helping me with cleaning, tidying and even nappy changes, which she’s really not a fan of.
So right now, our family is in “keeping the lights on” mode. We’re doing as much as we can to keep things running, but we won’t sweat the small stuff. We’ll work together and deal with every day as it comes, because that’s really all we can do. We’ll continue to work as a team to make this work, regardless of how long it lasts.
So that’s where we’re at, just keeping the lights on.